What if...??

Why do I have to read somebody else's story, if I..
.
.
.
Can write mine?

Take your hands off of my mouth

I can't stay mouth shut for long
Take your ghosts and leave

And life without love is

A beautiful picture
.
.
.
in black and white
!

Breakaway

And so I decided to..
BREAK AWAY
and throw myself once again
.
.
.
into the sea

In a moment

In a moment
I get that overwhelming desire to
.
.
destroy
.
.
I hate everything
and I have myself
.
.In a moment
I find no place for me in this world
This world
.
.
so cruel
so painful
.
.
A world that
.
.
rejects me
.
.
I find no place for me there
.
.
Yeah
.
.
No place there
nor anywhere else
.
.
for anywhere else
would definitely be on this world!!
.
.

I am fed up
I hate everything at the moment
.
.
I wanna disappear
There is.. there is security..in anything
I wanna disappear for one more reason
I am causing everyone trouble
.
.
and because I really
See no point in me

The problem

The real problem is not that I am all by myself
.
.
The problem is that
.
.
I don't want me to be by myself!!

A message to her

Dear She,
You are wasting your life
.
.
and mine!
.
.
Please
.
.
Enough of that

A moment of weakness

I need you

I need you so much

to fill that void in my heart

I am tearfully begging

Would that ever deliever my voice to you?

And who are you, in the first place?

I dunno

My message reminds unaddresses

My message reminds

.

.

unsent

Ain't no repentance

Dear Lord,

Forgive me
.
.
For not knowing why I am here
For being scattered between the paths
For not using the life You gifted me with properly
and as Thou intended it to be
.
.
Dear Lord,

I seek Your forgiveness
.
.
For the mistakes I never give up
For breaking my promises to You
For my weaknesses
and arrogance
and ungratefulness to Your countless bounties upon me
.
.
Dear Lord

Forgive me
.
.
For being tired of life
For wanting what I don't have
For not valuing what I have
For not thinking of how Great You are
when I am faced with great difficulties and problems
.
.
But Lord
This is ain't repentance
For repentance is about regret and change
I do regret
and I do admit
Still..
I am too weak to change
I am only..
Seeking Your forgiveness
You are All-forgiving, All- merciful

Scattered..

Missing

.

.

Longing

.

.

Tired

.

.
When and how
.
.
QUESTIONS
.
.
Wanting
.
.
QUESTIONING
.
.
Going around in endless circles
.
.
Imagining
.
.
Escaping
.
.
Tired
.
.
Lonely
.
.
Scattered
.
.
etc
etc
etc

Mike's inspirations

Be true to yourself

He never ceases to amaze me

Somtimes happiness...

is only a "plate" away!!

I said it once before

Not everyone has the right to live!

Sad but true

Dear Parents,
I know
that no matter what I do
we will forever be
chasing each other
around a closed circle

Hysteria

Leave me alone
.
.
Leave me alone
.
.
Leave me alone
.
.
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE
.
.
Leave me alone
.
.
LEAVE ME A.L.O.N.E
.
.
Leave me alone
.
.
alone
alone
alone

WANNA SCREAM AND SHOUT

I feel bad..so bad

As if all the color in my palette spilt over each other

To Mike

Thank you, dear

Third Habit

PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST

Exclusively in ....my dreams (3)

And the knight came on the back of a horse running
and the enemies were scared to death by piercing look in his eyes
and he came closer
One real bad guy gathered his guts and got on the back of his horse to fight the knight
and they got into fight with swords
and the knight won over the bad guy
then he gave that roar for victory
of which the rest of the bad guys ran
and the knight got off his horse
and went to the chained princess
and broke her chains
and carried her to the back of the horse
and then got in front of her
and said
"Hold on tight to me"
and she did
then he rode into the beautiful forest
and they went on
for soooo long
.
.
.
Happily Ever After

Exclusively in ....my dreams (2)

And the princess kissed the frog
and it all of sudden turned into
a charming prince
He looked at the princess with eyes wide open and said
"My princess, how beautiful art thee. Thou art the most beautiful creature I have even seen. Would you agree to make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?"
and the princess didn't answer
Only did her cheeks blush
and she nodded gracefully
They got married and
live together
.
.
.
Happily Ever After

Exclusively in ....my dreams (1)

And then he took her hands
and they danced the night away
.
.
Happily Ever After

I deserve a dadication, aint I?!!

Just Untitled

Dear baba

The more I know you,
The more I realize
how precious you are

Sometimes...

All I miss is saying these "three words"
loud
and clear
and
.
.
Emphatically

Pictures speak for themselves....

4 mins of my teenage years

Miss you, George

Triple O's

Sometimes... someone manages to make me feel like I am
.
.


The Odd One Out

It sometimes hit me

I changed my name

to be rid of the things that I want from you

It's....

Strange!

but the name is the name

and...

the truth is the truth

.

.

and there was always

hmmm

always someone there to remind me

.

.

So I learnd to live with shame

tell me myself I feel no pain

but I do!!

and if I have to tell you that

it really doesn't matter at all

it really doesn't matter at all

it really doesn't matter AT ALL

yeah

it doesn't matter

George Micheal - It doesn't really matter

from the ablum Older

Unbounded

SKY

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

IS MY ONLY LIMIT

And I am grateful...

اللهم ما أصبح بى من نعمة أو بأحد من خلقك فمنك وحدك لا شريك لك فلك الحمد ولك الشكر

*

*

Oh Lord! Whatever blessing I or any of Your creatures rose up with, is only from You, You have no partner, so all Grace and Thanks are due to You

The Second Habbit

BEGIN

WITH THE END IN MIND

And Frankl says...

"We detect rather than invent our mission in life". I like that choice of words. I think each of us has an internal monitor or sense, a conscience, that gives us an awareness of our own uniqueness and the singular contribution that we can make. In Frankl's words "Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus everyone's task is as unique as his specific opportunity to implement it".

Steven Covey - The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Starting Over

True love is only true

for as long as it lasts!!

So true on religiousness

I believe that almost anyone who is seriously involved in any church (mosque) will recognize that churchgoing (mosquegoing) is not synonymous with personal spirituality. There are some people who get so busy in church (mosque) worship and projects that they become insensitive to the pressing human needs that surround them, contradicting the very precepts they profess to believe in. There are others who attend church (mosque) less frequently or not at all but whose attitudes and behaviours reflect a more genuine centring of the principles of the basic Judeo-christian (Islamic) ethic.

You can be active in a church but inactive in its gospel

You can be active in a mosque but inactive in Quran

Steven Covey - The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

and so do I

Mistakes

In the road to every great success there are
.
.
STUMBLING STONES called
.
.
MISTAKES

Admit'em
.
.
Correct'em
.
.
Get past'em and
.
.
Keep going

Why?

Do you wake up at times from your eternal slumber
.
.
and pay me such...
.
.
Unexpected visits?

You can't tear apart what has already been torn
.
.
Go back to your slumber
.
.
Your eternal slumber
.
.
And never again disturb me in my...
.
.
Dreams

And so I say

When we are dependent on the person with whom we are in conflict, both need and conflict are compounded. Love-hate overreactions, fight-or-flight tendencies, withdrawal, aggressiveness, bitterness, resentment and cold competition are some of the usual results. When this occure, we tend to fall even further back on background tendencies and habits in an effort to justify and defend our own behaviour and we attack our spouse's.

.

.

Inevitably, anytime we are too vulnerable, we feel the need to protect ourselves from further wounds. So we resort to sarcasm, cutting humor, criticism - anything that will keep from exposing the tenderness within. Each partner tends to wait on the initiative of the other for love, only to be disappointed but also confirmed as to the rightness of the accusations made.

.

.

There is only phantom security in such a relationship when all appears to be going well. Guidance is based on the emotion of the moment. Wisdom and power are lost in the counterdependant negative interactions

Steven Covey - The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

The Philosophy of Change

People can't live with change, if there is not a changeless core inside them. The key to the ability to change is a changeless sense of who you are, what you are about and what you value

Stephen Covey - The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Commitment

" It is here that we can find two ways to put ourselves in control of our lives immediately. We can make a promise - and keep it. Or we can set a goal - and work to achieve it. As we make and keep commitments, even small commitments, we begin to establish an inner integrity that gives us the awareness of self control and the courage and strength to accept more of the responsibility of our own lives. By making and keeping promises to ourselves and others, little by little, our honor becomes greater than our mood"

Steven Covey - The Seven Habbits of Highly Effective People

Update!

List of "promises and goals" I'd like to make and keep, to self and to others:

To Self:

1. To learn to drive

2. To master German (then French, then Spanish!)

3. To do "something" about my old dreams of studying linguistics

4. To take care of my looks and health

5. To live within my budget

6. To study Quran & the lives of the prophets (Peace & Blessings of God be upon them)

7. To volunteer

8. To make plans for all of the above (and couple of items below)!!!! :D

To family:

1. To be more caring, cooperative and involved

2. To live within my OWN budget!!!

Note: The list is expandable!!

Dear Lord

GIVE ME

the courage to change the things that can and ought to be changed,

.

.

the serenity to accept the things that can not be changed,

.

.

and

.

.

the wisdom to know the difference.

And before I start the day, I should remember that....

**

Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip!

**

The biggest lie on the planet When I get what I want I will be happy.

**

The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.

**

If only YOU could!!

If I can reach the stars,
Pull one down for you,
Shine it on my heart
So you could see the truth:
That this love I have inside
Is everything it seems.
But for now I find
It's only in my dreams.

And I can change the world,
I will be the sunlight in your universe.
You would think my love was really something good,
Baby if I could change the world.

And if I could be king,
Even for a day,
I'd take you as my queen;
I'd have it no other way.
And our love would rule
This kingdom we had made.
Till then I'd be a fool,
Wishing for the day...

That I can change the world,
I would be the sunlight in your universe.
You would think my love was really something good,
Baby if I could change the world.
Baby if I could change the world.

I could change the world,
I would be the sunlight in your universe.
You would think my love was really something good,
Baby if I could change the world.
Baby if I could change the world.
Baby if I could change the world.

And a little bit of Brian

Oh - thinkin' about all our younger years
There was only you and me
We were young and wild and free

Now nothin' can take you away from me
We bin down that road before
But that's over now
You keep me comin' back for more

Baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

Oh - once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you're feelin' down

Ya - nothin' could change what you mean to me
Oh there's lots that I could say
But just hold me now
Cause our love will light the way

N' baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

I've bin waitin' for so long
For something to arrive
For love to come along

Now our dreams are comin' true
Through the good times and the bad
Ya - I'll be standin' there by you

LOVE LABOUR not LOST

In the great literature of all progressive societies, LOVE is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. They are driven by feelings. Hollywood generally has scripted us to believe that we are not responsible, that we are a product of our feelings. But the Hollywood script does not describe the reality. If our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so.

Proactive people make LOVE a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifice you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a new born into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love them in return. If you are a parent, look at the love you have for the children you sacrificed for. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling, can be recaptured.

Steven Covey - The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

and

Previously put in a different wording by me :)

Perfect Ten

I got this idea from Evi, and I find it really challanging to sit with one'self and decide that "I am sure this is good about me" without low self-esteem getting in and spoiling it with "mum doesnt think so" or "dad would laugh at this, if he read it!"

So.. there I go... those things are really good about me

1. I think out of the box

2. I forgive easily

3. I am good-looking ;)

4. I am practical

5. I am a survivor (Never say Die!)

6. I have a good sense of humor (fun to be around and fun to be with)

7. I am encouraging (I wouldn't discourage anyone with an idea, no matter how crazy or stupid it is)

8. I am verbally intellegnt (eloquent and good at languages)

9. Iam creative as far as surprises are concerned

10. I am socially smart

Geeeeeee... I am happy I could complete the list (still has a couple of items to add.. but let's settle with ten for today ;))

The morning Steven!!

The ability to subordinate impulse to value is the very essence of proactive people

update:

I won't get angry at the "Mrs. M" for her lack of tactness with me. I also won't backbite her with my office mates (who would love to!). I can get my angry evil impulses under control. The values I learnt from my religion are "Don't get angry.. don't get angry.. don't get angry" and "Do not backbite each other". First piece of proactivity of the day ;)

update 2

And as I am not getting angry at anybody, and as I am not allowing myself to dwell on a simple situation by gossiping, my mode wont change over such little things ;) I feel good :)

Celebrating my birthday with Steve

Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose

*

*

*

If we live like animals, out of our own instincts, conditioning and conditions, out of our collective memory, we, too, will be limited

*

*

*

It (Proactivity) means that as human beings we are responsible for our own lives. Our behaviour is a function of our decisions not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values. We have the initiative and responsibility to make things happen

Steven Covey - The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Slogan of the year

I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor

Henry David Thorea

June 10

And as I am blowing my 25th candle,
I'd like to say to myself
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
And may I next year be happier, healthier, more spiritual and more self-fulfilled

Message!

Just a castaway, an island lost at sea, oh
Another lonely day, with no one here but me, oh
More loneliness than any man could bear
Rescue me before I fall into despair, oh
.
.
Ill send an s.o.s. to the world
Ill send an s.o.s. to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah
.
.
A year has passed since I wrote my note
But I should have known this right from the start
Only hope can keep me together
Love can mend your life but
Love can break your heart
Ill send an s.o.s. to the world
Ill send an s.o.s. to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah
.
.
Walked out this morning, dont believe what I saw
Hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore
Seems Im not alone at being alone
Hundred billion castaways, looking for a home
Ill send an s.o.s. to the world
Ill send an s.o.s. to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah
Sending out at an s.o.s.
Sending out at an s.o.s.
Sending out at an s.o.s.
Sending out at an s.o.s.
Sending out at an s.o.s.
Sending out at an s.o.s...

A little push of confidence

Dear Me,

You are a real princess

So act like one :)

Your prince charming is yet to come

and he shall be lucky to find you ;)

Just before I leave the office

Yoooo Hooooo

IT'S WEEKEND

Havent been that excited since weeks and weeks

Dunno why..

but

I will let the feeling run away with me ;)

Enemies of the day

Hesitation
&

Regret thereafter!

.

.

A word for myself!
Your choices are half chances - so are everybody else's

Dear Aunt

Wish you'd just stop twisting the knife

Can't imagin myself

BLIND
.
.
Dear God,
Yesterday You have taken something so beautiful and sweet from me
but
You still graciously left me with my two eyes seeing
.
.
for that I am grateful

The morning prayer

Dear Lord,
I am grateful to Thee
for giving me a chance to wake up to a new morning
for giving me a heart longing to Thee
for giving me a family that loves and cares
for making me able to see, touch, and feel Your so many bounties upon me and around
Dear Lord,
I am thankful to Thee
for what you have given me
and what you have taken away
for teaching me lessons constantly
for reminding me of Your blessings
I thank Thee
for the pain and deprivation
for if it wasn't pain or deprivation
I wouldn't have sensed the blessings
Dear God
You are in my heart
I truely love Thee
I truely am grateful
Your earth is beautiful
and yet You promised me Heaven
Thank you for Your earth
and thank You for the promise
and thank You for making me able to thank Thee